


I Need You.

by spookykiwi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Emotional pain, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Lemon, Smut, Suffering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27143297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookykiwi/pseuds/spookykiwi
Summary: “ I.. I simply ignored them, and because I didn’t take it seriously, we weren’t in formation. They killed almost all of us because I just didn’t listen! It was my job to keep them safe and get them back alive. And I failed. I ruined it, they can never come home because of me.”“You fucked up,” Kakashi mumbled softly, “But this kind of mess up will stick for you forever. You’re going to have to atone for everything you did and the lives you let die because of your negligence.”
Relationships: Kakashi Hatake x Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	I Need You.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)?! Are you home? Iruka said you needed to see me right away? Is everything okay?” Kakashi’s smooth but anxiety laced voice rang out among the stillness within your apartment. Had it not been for his amazing hearing, he’d have given up and turned away, instead he attempted to search for you elsewhere, but the faint sounds of the shower running and crying had stopped him dead in his tracks. Kakashi darted towards the bathroom, pushing open the door without a second thought, “(Y/N)?! What happened?” 

Your body trembling inside of the shower despite the water being blistering hot, “K-Kashi? Please, you need to help. I can’t... I can’t breathe.” 

You were sobbing, clutching your chest with enough strength to tear the skin and send small rivers of blood down your chest. You knew you had been a bit stressed and anxious after a particular mission, but the weight of it all had finally snapped and you couldn’t keep it together. 

“Help. Me.” You mumbled in between choked sobs and strangled breaths.

“What? I.. What’s going on?” Kakashi frowned deeply, his lips stretched into a thin line behind his mask as he tried to weigh the decision of pushing open the curtains and talking, or allowing you some sort of privacy for your dignity. He had just barely made his decision when your voice broke him out of his own thoughts, “They... they’re all dead. It’s all my fault. I k-killed them! I killed everyone, Kashi. Their blood... It’s on me.” 

You were desperate for air, you didn’t know how much longer you could take it before you felt you were well and truly going to die. Your hands shook harder against your skin, trying desperately to claw their way inside to keep you from sinking into your own grief.

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”

“Do you trust me, (Y/N)?”

“I do...”

There wasn’t a reply from Kakashi, but you could hear the faint sounds of metal hitting the sink. You were curious about the noise and wanted to see what was happening, but it became painfully obvious when Kakashi pushed the curtain aside and stepped in with you. Any normal person would have been starring straight at Kakashi’s naked body. To be able to see him naked would be too much for most to handle, but you. You were starring at his face. His bare face. 

It seemed so obvious that he wouldn’t wear a mask to shower in, but knowing Kakashi, he would have. Except this was different, he wanted you to completely trust him to take care of you. Kakashi knew you had overwhelming fears regarding others seeing you naked and so this was his compromise. Expose his most vulnerable side to you as you did the same to him. It caused a small smile to tug at your lips and you reached a hand up to delicately cup his dry face. He didn’t move, only the slight movement of his eyes showed the curiosity and tenseness he held.

“Thank you.” You muttered, accepting that Kakashi was here and everything would be okay. He simply nodded his head in acknowledgment, his eyes stayed locked on yours, watching the different emotions flow through you, “May I?”

You blinked in confusion, not knowing how to react to the man’s gentle question. It was two simple words but it spoke volumes to your sullen heart. You barely nodded, not sure what to do with your body as you curiously watched him. Gingerly, Kakashi placed his hands on your hips to turn you around. Now facing the water he gave you a simple instruction, “Move your hair for me, (Y/N).” 

You did so without hesitation. Moving it away from your back to the front and looking back curiously. You noticed his gaze was focused, but somehow still polite. He wasn’t looking where he shouldn’t be yet he kept his focus on the task. His soaped up hands came to your back, gently rubbing lazy, warm circles into your wet skin and for a moment, you felt like there was nothing better in the world than this. All the worries, sadness, pain, and anxiety pushing down on your body lifted momentarily. Your eyes slipped closed, your breathing was starting to relax and your body melted into his touch.

“That feels... nice,” you murmured, your body shivering as his hands started to work lower but still keeping above your ass. 

“In ANBU, we picked up a few things about medical ninjitsu. It wasn’t much, barely enough to teach us how to heal small cuts, but we did learn how to ease stress and sore muscles. Sometimes, it was life saving when things were... Dark.” 

“That’s why I feel so calm then. You’re taking away my stress,” your eyes opened just enough to look towards your beloved comrade, he caught your eye for a moment and returned the gentle smile.

“I’m just easing it as much as possible. Is it alright to go lower?”

“Hmm? Oh. Go ahead, I trust you, Kashi.” 

With only a slight hesitation, the sensation of warm, wetness ran over your ass, you shivered a bit at the unfamiliar feeling, but eventually you relaxed while Kakashi’s hands massaged the flesh. You were quiet during this, picturing in your mind the way his hands were moving based on feel alone. Eventually, you’d given up and just succumbed to the odd, but nice feeling. It wasn’t until Kakashi had started to massage your thighs did a slight groan of appreciation and pure relief leave you. 

“Guess I found a tense spot.” 

The man chuckled, applying slightly more chakra to the area and kneading the flesh. You placed a hand on the wall to steady yourself because you were coming undone in his hands, your muscles felt like jelly after he had finished a section and you swore if he kept massaging your thighs any longer, you’d faint. 

“They really taught you well,” you half moaned, half grunted, there was a bright laugh and soon Kakashi was touching your hips again to face him. The realization of being completely naked in front of your comrade was overwhelming, you didn’t want to look him in the eye, it was too much honesty and vulnerability. Kakashi seemed to sense the overwhelming energy building in the air, he leaned in to wrap his arms around your middle and hugged you,

“Listen, if you’ve seen one body, you’ve seen them all. I asked earlier if you trusted me, do you?”

“I do, I... it’s... it’s a lot,” you confessed, your own arms finally loosely wrapping around his shoulders.

“I know, but I promise I’m here to help. That’s all.” 

“Okay.”

You released him and he soon followed. Kakashi poured a bit more soap onto his hands to lather with before he got to work. His larger hands starting on your collarbone, being gentle with the sensitive flesh that he knew all too well could bruise with gentle pressure. Then just as before, he asked if it was alright to continue and diligently covered your breast in soap. It was bizarre to be touched there by Kakashi, you had felt a lovers touch, but this was different. His touch was sweeter, but tougher than most. His thumbs carefully pressed into each dip while his palms ran over the sensitive flesh, causing you to shiver and half choke out a whimper. This steady pushing and rubbing of his palms and fingers continued as he soaped your toned body. Focusing on the tension that was being held in your abdomen. 

Finally, it came down to what you were scared of the most. You could see the look of cautiousness in Kakashi as he asked again. You nodded, slightly parting your legs for him. It felt almost too long till he touched you. His hands coming to cover your pussy and rub slowly, slower than he had before. Either from pure terror or curiosity, you didn’t know, but the sparks of chakra flowing from his fingertips to your pussy was overwhelming. You reached out to grab his bicep, squeezing the toned muscle while your breath was caught in your throat. Your eyes were glued to what he was doing to you and his own eyes were curiously watching your visage. 

Kakashi’s fingers trailed slowly along your clit, the small bud throbbing in desperation for more as chakra pulsed out from his fingertips, licking away at your pussy. You moaned softly, your eyes wanting to close at the pure pleasure coursing through your body, but the sight before you was so sinful and disgustingly hot, you couldn’t look away. His fingers pressed harder against your clit, rubbing tight circles, your legs were quivering and your stomached tensed tightly, the coil inside of you growing tighter and tighter until-

“O-Oh...” was all you could even manage as something in your belly snapped, causing white flashes of pleasure to cloud your brain for a moment. You didn’t know how long things had been happening for or how he was even able to make you cum so quick, but you were snapped back to reality when the pleasure became slightly too much for your emotionally and physically exhausted body and you shoved his hand away weakly.

“Kashi... Why?” His hands were already down to the front of your thighs, focusing on the new flesh. 

“It’s the best stress reliever. It’ll also help you to sleep right after the shower and give your brain a boost it needs. Just for a little while.” 

For some reason, you didn’t argue. You never mentioned him touching you, or him making you cum in a matter of what felt like seconds, you couldn’t. Already, you were beginning to feel exactly as he said. A bit happier, but also the wave of sleepiness was taking hold. You had even glanced down at his cock to see if it had turned him on, but it seemed it hadn’t. He must have truly not cared about having an attraction to you, or he was in comrade saving mode. Saving and keeping alive your comrades was valued above anything else. 

With your body soaped and thoroughly massaged, he washed it all away, including the remnants of his touch. Next was your hair and the best scalp massage you had ever gotten. He had you lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapped a bit around you while his fingertips scratched along your scalp, pulses of chakra coming out to amplify the pure pleasure. 

Your eyes were closed and your arms were wrapped lowly on his waist. If you were a cat, you would have been purring from just how good it felt. Instead, you spent the rest of the hair washing and conditioning session in an utter sleepy bliss. When it was time for you both to get out, Kakashi left first. Drying off quick and wrapping the towel around him while he grabbed one for you. Having you come out and stand still while he dried you off. Once you weren’t dripping anymore, Kakashi grabbed his dry shirt in the bathroom and slipped it over your head, your arms naturally putting through the sleeves. 

You glanced down to see the shirt came just under your butt. It wasn’t hugely oversized on you or long, but it was enough to keep you somewhat decent. You snapped from your thoughts when Kakashi grabbed your wrist, tugging you into your bedroom and pulling the covers back for you. He helped you slip into bed and soon he followed, his arms wrapping around your body to squeeze you close and strongly to his body. Signifying to you that you were safe, warm, and loved, “What to tell me what happened now, (Y/N)?” 

You were silent for a moment, taking in the events that had happened and the best way to explain them without choking up again, “I was platoon leader this time, but it wasn’t suppose to be a hard mission. Simple recovery mission for some carpenter the Leaf wanted. We were escorting him back when we were ambushed. I didn’t know who this man was, but my comrades did and I didn’t listen to them. I didn’t listen when they said he was a nobleman and probably paid for a lower ranked mission. I.. I simply ignored them, and because I didn’t take it seriously, we weren’t in formation. They killed almost all of us because I just didn’t listen! It was my job to keep them safe and get them back alive. And I failed. I ruined it, they can never come home because of me.”

“You fucked up,” Kakashi mumbled softly, “But this kind of mess up will stick for you forever. You’re going to have to atone for everything you did and the lives you let die because of your negligence.”

It was harsh, the words stung and made you want to claw at the rising tension in your throat, but Kakashi was right. Regardless of how much it hurt, you had messed up. It had cost you the life of your comrades and nobody was to blame but you.

“I will.. I’ll atone until I die.” 

“That’s all you can do moving forward. Hold them close to your heart, dedicate everyday you wake up to making it a day worth your comrades lives, and live. If you die, what a shame it was to your comrades who gave their life for that mission.”

You nodded slowly, you were at a loss for words, but you knew he was right. You tilted your head to see his visage clearly, reaching out to gently cup his cheek, “Thank you, Kakashi.”

“For what?”

“Well for.....”

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic came out a lot longer than I expected so I split it into three parts! I’ve been working on it for a few months so it might be awhile between updates, please do let me know how you enjoy part 1! I would love to create another series, but it’s a bit harder to come up with a good enough concept and what fandom


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